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The Truth About What Your Bridesmaids Wish They Could Say

Are you planning your wedding and wondering what your besties really think about bridesmaid duties? Listen up, bride-to-be – your girls have some truth bombs they wish they could drop. You’ve dreamt of this day your whole life, but for your bridesmaids, the wedding planning isn’t all champagne toasts and Pinterest inspo. Between the endless group chats, trying on ugly dresses, and shelling out cash for your bachelorette extravaganza, your bridesmaids are ready to speak up.

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But because they love you more than comfy shoes and their bank accounts, they’ll keep their lips sealed and support you all the way to the altar. Lucky for you, we got the scoop on what they’re really thinking behind those forced smiles in your engagement photos. Read on for the truth about what your bridesmaids wish they could say.

Being a Bridesmaid Is Hard Work, Not Just a Title

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Being a bridesmaid is hard work, not just a title! As your best friend’s big day approaches, here are a few things your bridesmaids wish they could tell you:

It’s Not About the Dress

While we want you to have the wedding of your dreams, the bridesmaid dress is the least of our worries! We care more about supporting you through the planning process and making sure your special day goes off without a hitch. The dress is just part of the package.

We Have Lives Too

As much as we love you, we can’t drop everything to run wedding errands or craft 200 DIY centerpieces. Most bridesmaids have jobs, families, and responsibilities to juggle. Be mindful of that when delegating tasks, and try not to get upset if we can’t meet for the fourth dress fitting this month!

We Want You to Relax

Planning a wedding is stressful, but remember to enjoy this time! Your bridesmaids are here to take on duties so you can de-stress. Let us handle the little details – you focus on pampering yourself. The calmer and happier you are, the more we can be there for you when you need us.

Your bridesmaids want the best for you, but being in a wedding party requires time, money, and sacrifice. With understanding, appreciation and a sense of perspective, you’ll have happy bridesmaids eager to make your big day one you’ll never forget!

We Wish You’d Be More Considerate of Costs and Time Commitments

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Girl, we love you and want your wedding to be perfect, but you must understand that as bridesmaids, we’re making a big commitment in both time and money. Those matching dresses and shoes you picked are gorgeous, but did you see those price tags?! Not all of us have unlimited budgets. We hope you choose styles that flatter everyone and are more affordable.

And the schedule of pre-wedding events is packed! While we want to support you, between the bridal showers, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner and everything else, we’re already taking a lot of time off work. We wish we didn’t have to turn down other plans and social events to attend every wedding-related get-together.

Don’t get us wrong, we’re thrilled to stand by your side at the altar – we want you to appreciate the sacrifices we’re making to get you there! Remember that while this is your big day, it’s a big day for us too. We love you and want you to have the perfect wedding, but please try to be more considerate of our needs, time and wallets. After all, that’s what friends are for, and we’ll do anything for you – within reason! Focus on what matters – not the lavish events or expensive outfits, but the lifelong friendships that will remain long after the bouquet is tossed.

Please Don’t Expect Us to Plan Everything for You

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Girl, we love you and want your wedding to be perfect, but planning the entire thing is asking a lot! As your faithful bridesmaids, we’re here for emotional support, honest advice, and helping out with key tasks – don’t expect us to handle every little detail.

There are so many moving parts to coordinate for a wedding, and your bridesmaids likely have jobs, families, and lives of their own to manage. Delegating some responsibilities to other family members or a wedding planner will help ensure nothing slips through the cracks while preventing your bridesmaids from experiencing burnout. We want to remain energized to celebrate this special time with you!

Rather than saddling us with arranging venue tours, managing RSVPs, or designing all the decor, choose what’s most meaningful for us to assist with. We could help address invitations, plan a fun bachelorette getaway, or provide input on your gown selection. Focus on bonding over the highlights instead of turning your bridesmaids into full-time wedding planners.

Your wedding is ultimately about you and your fiancé, so make sure to also set aside time to enjoy this season of engagement as a couple. Don’t get so caught up in checklists that you forget why you’re planning this wedding in the first place! Lean on your bridesmaids for support when you need it, but don’t be afraid to delegate when possible. We’re here to share in your joy and excitement, not add extra stress.

With open communication and reasonable expectations, your bridesmaids can be the best helpers and cheerleaders as you plan your dream wedding! But remember, we have limits too, so be mindful of how much you ask of us. Keep things fun, and let’s focus on what matters – you and your soon-to-be spouse. The details will come together, so take a deep breath and we’ll get through this together!

We’d Love Some Input on the Bridesmaid Dresses

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Girl, your bridesmaids are your ride-or-die crew, so don’t leave them out of the planning for the biggest day of your life! They want to support you fully, but they also wish they could speak up about a few things.

Choosing the bridesmaid dresses is one of the most exciting parts of planning a wedding and the most challenging! As your best friends, your bridesmaids also want to look and feel amazing for your big day. They wish they could tell you:

  • Involve us in the selection process! We want to provide input on styles, colors and designers. Working together will make the experience much more fun and help ensure we all feel comfortable and confident in whatever dress is chosen.
  • Think about our body types! Choose a style that will flatter a range of shapes and sizes. An empire waist, wrap dress or lace overlay can be beautiful and figure-forgiving. Consider offering colour options in the same style.
  • Consider our budgets! We want you to have your dream wedding but have to be realistic about costs. Look for dresses at a variety of price points or offer to split the bill if possible. We appreciate you keeping our finances in mind.
  • Think about alterations. Some dresses may require significant tailoring for the best fit. Choose a style and designer that comes in a range of sizes to minimize alterations needed or build in extra time and budget for changes.

Your bridesmaids want the chance to support you through this exciting time in your life and to stand by your side, looking and feeling their best. By considering their input, you’ll end up with a win-win – a gorgeous wedding and even closer friends! What could be better than that?

We’d Appreciate Some Flexibility and Understanding

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Girl, we know you want everything to be perfect on your big day, but try not to be too rigid in your expectations! Your bridesmaids love and want to support you, but we also have lives, jobs, and commitments.

Be flexible if we can only sometimes attend every wedding planning event or meeting. Stay calm if we’re a few minutes late to a dress fitting or can’t stay as long as you’d like at a crafting get-together. We wish we could devote 100% of our time in the months leading up to your wedding, but it could be more realistic!

We may have differing opinions on colour schemes, floral arrangements or reception details. We each have our own tastes and preferences, so try not to take it personally if we don’t enthusiastically agree with all of your choices. Compromise when you can, and choose what will make you happiest on your special day.

Give us space to provide honest feedback and make constructive suggestions. We want your day to be as memorable and meaningful as you do, so listen with an open mind if we offer alternative ideas or point out potential issues. Our input comes from a place of care and support.

Your bridesmaids are here to share in your joy and excitement. But cut us some slack if wedding planning isn’t our top priority 24/7 or we need to see eye to eye with you on every little thing. With flexibility, understanding and compromise, we’ll get you down the aisle and ensure you have the perfect wedding day you’ve always dreamed of!

Let’s Make Sure We Stay Friends After This

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Bridesmaids want you to know that your friendship means the world to them, even after all the wedding madness ends!

Your bridesmaids have been there for you through all the ups and downs of wedding planning. After the big day, make sure to nurture your friendship by:

  • Planning a casual meetup like brunch, dinner, or drinks where you can chat about the wedding and laugh over memories without the stress.
  • Sending a heartfelt thank you card or letter telling your bridesmaids how much their love and support mean to you.
  • Making one-on-one time for your bridesmaids a priority. Call them up for coffee or FaceTime and catch up on life after the honeymoon.

Your bridesmaids want the best for you, and that includes maintaining your connection as friends. While wedding planning can be all-consuming, remember the relationships that matter. With open communication and quality time together, your friendship will survive this wedding and many more adventures!

Staying close to your bridesmaids after the wedding will ensure you have friends who share memories of this special time in your life for years to come. Their support and positivity have helped make your wedding possible, so keep nurturing that friendship and enjoy this new chapter of life together!

At the End of the Day, We Want You to Have a Special Wedding

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At the end of the day, we want you to have an amazing wedding and enjoy this special time in your life. All the planning and preparation is to celebrate you and your spouse-to-be, so try not to get too caught up in the little details that you miss the joy of it all.

As your bridesmaids, we support you however we can – whether helping make decorations or keeping you calm when tensions rise. Don’t feel like you have to micromanage us or that you’re burdening us with tasks. We want to be involved and help in any way we’re able. Let us take some of the stress off your shoulders so you can focus on what really matters.

Don’t worry about how the centerpieces turn out on your wedding day or if the favors are perfectly arranged on each table. No one will remember those little things, they’ll remember how stunning you looked walking down the aisle and the love between you and your partner.

Try to be fully present in each moment. Savor the morning getting ready together with us bridesmaids, laugh and bond over memories while we do your hair and makeup. Cherish your first look and private moments with your new spouse. Dance like no one’s watching at the reception, and have fun!

Your wedding will fly by in the blink of an eye, so appreciate all the people who came to celebrate you. Hug your friends and family, and thank them for being there and for all their support. We know you’ve dreamed of this day your whole life, now is the time to enjoy it. Don’t wish it away worrying over details, live in the moment and soak in all the love surrounding you.

At the end of your magical day, you’ll be married to the person you want to spend forever with. That’s really what it’s all about, the rest is just icing on the (wedding) cake! We love you and wish you all the happiness in the world. Now go get married, girl!


So, all in all, remember your bridesmaids are there to support you through this joyous time. While the responsibilities that come with the role can be demanding, your friends have gladly taken them on to stand by your side on your big day. Appreciate their efforts, be considerate of their time and budgets, and make this an enjoyable experience for everyone. Most importantly, remember that this wedding is about you and your partner – keep things in perspective, go with the flow, and focus on what matters. Congratulations again, bride-to-be! Now go dazzle your guests and have the time of your life. The memories you’re about to make will last forever.


To make your bridesmaids feel appreciated and reduce their stress, prioritize open communication, consider their input on matters like dresses and budgets, and be understanding of their time commitments and lives outside of wedding planning.

When selecting bridesmaid dresses, involve your bridesmaids in the process, consider their body types and budgets, and choose styles that are comfortable and flattering for a range of shapes and sizes. Flexibility and input are key.

To strike a balance, involve your bridesmaids in tasks they are comfortable with and prioritize emotional support and advice over expecting them to handle every detail. Delegate some responsibilities to others or a wedding planner to prevent burnout.

To maintain your friendships, plan post-wedding meetups to reminisce and catch up, send thank-you notes expressing your appreciation, and make one-on-one time with your bridesmaids a priority. Nurture your connections beyond the wedding.

To enjoy your wedding day, stay present in each moment, cherish your time with loved ones, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Focus on the love between you and your partner, and trust your bridesmaids to support you. Remember, it’s about celebrating your love above all else.


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UPDATED 3:31 PM, Fri, 24 Nov 23
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