6 Stages of Malay Wedding Tradition Before the Big Day

Are you about to tie the knot in a traditional Malay wedding ceremony? Congratulations! As exciting as this time is, we want to ensure you feel prepared and informed adequately before your big day.

At 50Gram Wedding, we understand the importance of having an intimate knowledge of your wedding tradition. That’s why we’ve put together this guide to help you get familiar with the four stages of a Malay wedding — from getting engaged to exchanging vows.

We’ll explain every step, from finding potential matches and introducing each other’s families to setting a date and delegating tasks. So if you’re ready to take that journey with us, let’s dive right in!

Stage 1: Pertunangan or Engagement Ceremony

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The journey begins with pertunangan, or your engagement ceremony! Before you walk down the aisle, you and your partner will go through 6 stages of the traditional Malay wedding. This stage is meant to be a formal declaration of your intention to get married, and it often involves the presentation of gifts such as rings and traditional outfits.

Your families usually organize a meal and gathering in advance to mark this special milestone in the presence of your closest friends and family members. At this stage, both sides of the family will recognize each other’s heritage by exchanging customary drinks, songs and dances (known as yassin chanting). The parents also exchange rings as a symbol of their blessing for your union.

Stage 2: Merisik or Proposing Ceremony

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Now it’s time for the Merisik or Proposing Ceremony! This is an interesting one: in the old days, parents would arrange a suitor for their daughters and vice versa. Once the two families consented to the union, both parties will undergo a series of honorary traditions.

These can include sweet gestures such as the groom delivering gifts to his bride’s home, which includes delicious eatables such as cakes, fruits, and other homemade treats. On top of that, both sides of the family will exchange gifts, such as money or goods, from each other to symbolize their acceptance.

Congratulations – you now have to prepare for your big day! At the end of this stage, both families should resolve the marriage agreement (in writing), and a date for the wedding ceremony should be settled. A feast known as “Makan Berita” is then held to announce that a wedding will take place and celebrate the joyous occasion.

Stage 3: Sanding or Bridal Shower

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The third stage is called sanding or bridal shower. This is when the bride’s family hosts a gathering for the bride and her female family members, friends and colleagues. Depending on customs, the sanding may include wedding games, giving advice to the couple or gifts of money from well-wishers in attendance.

Using 50Gram Wedding’s planning platform helps make this process a breeze! You can easily create an agenda for your sanding that includes many signature activities while incorporating modern trends like giving wedding advice through fun, creative games. And it doesn’t end there – you’ll be able to track who’s attending, organize gift-giving and even create customized decorations that suit your wedding theme!

Stage 4: Bersanding or Sitting-in-State Ceremony

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The fourth and final stage before a Malay wedding is the Bersanding or Sitting-in-State ceremony. This solemn occasion occurs just before the Akad Nikah when the bride and groom take part in a special procession where they are both seated on elevated chairs. The chairs, called thrones, are usually covered in beautiful and colourful fabrics and surrounded by family, friends, and strangers.

This is an important stage of marriage where the couple is formally introduced as husband and wife to their community. During this time, family members will give words of wisdom to the couple while guests shower them with monogrammed towels as tokens of love and blessings for their new life together.

Thanks to 50Gram Wedding’s online wedding planner platform, you can easily keep track of all the stages leading up to your big day! With just a few clicks, you can create detailed timelines for each event, including what time everyone should arrive, what should be served during meals and even photos of each event that you’d like to keep for memories.

Stage 5: Akad Nikah or Solemnization Ceremony

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Regarding Malay wedding traditions, one of the most important ceremonies is the Akad Nikah or the solemnization ceremony. This is where the bride and groom officially (and legally!) declare themselves husband and wife in the presence of family and friends. It’s like a mini wedding in itself!

The Akad Nikah is usually conducted by a prominent local religious figure who will recite prayers in Arabic, then, the bride and groom recite verses from the Quran that upholds their commitment to one another. The bride may also take this opportunity to vow her loyalty and love to her husband for life.

With 50Gram Wedding platform, you can have peace of mind knowing that every part of your wedding planning is taken care of —from solemnization ceremonies to dinner receptions and even decorations! The ceremony then ends with a du’a (prayer) by all present for a blissful marriage union that’ll last a lifetime. Sounds romantic, doesn’t it?

Stage 6: Hantaran or Dowry Giving Ceremony

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The sixth stage of a Malay wedding prepping: the hantaran or dowry-giving ceremony! In this special occasion, the bride and groom exchange gifts, with the bride’s family offering their daughter’s accessories and belongings along with some cash, jewellery or just about anything else. Did you know that this exceptional tradition is seen as a way of symbolizing loyalty and love?

To ensure that everything goes smoothly during this special ceremony, 50Gram Wedding platform provides an array of services to help you plan your hantaran ceremony so you don’t have to worry about a thing. The gifts are usually presented in beautifully decorated trays and are usually opened during the reception.

Here are just some tips:

Traditional or Modern Hantaran

It’s always nice to keep traditions alive, so if you’re looking for something timeless, try going for traditional hantaran. However, if you’re not too keen on breaking out your grandmother’s heirlooms, plenty of modernized options are available in 50Gram Wedding’s marketplace.


Find The Right Vendors

Finding vendors for your hantaran can be time-consuming from flowers to props to custom cakes. But not with 50Gram Wedding! Our vetted regional suppliers and unbeatable prices make it easier for you to find the perfect vendors who can help you create a magnificent hantaran fit for royalty without breaking the bank.

With these simple tips from the 50Gram Wedding platform, planning your hantaran ceremony will be as easy as ABC!


To ensure your Malay wedding ceremony is full of beautiful, meaningful moments, embark on this journey of tradition and culture today! With 50Gram Wedding, you can be sure that your wedding will flow seamlessly and be one that your friends and family will remember for years.

By preparing your wedding according to the four stages of the Malay wedding tradition, you will create the ultimate fairytale you and your partner have always dreamed of. Start your journey towards wedded bliss today and enjoy a unique and memorable experience that will leave your guests in awe.


The first stage of a traditional Malay wedding is the Pertunangan or Engagement Ceremony. It is a formal declaration of the couple’s intention to get married and involves the exchange of gifts, such as rings and traditional outfits, between the families.

he Merisik or Proposing Ceremony is when the two families arrange a suitor for their children. The groom delivers gifts to the bride’s home, including cakes, fruits, and other treats. Both families exchange gifts to symbolize their acceptance, and a marriage agreement is resolved, setting a date for the wedding ceremony.

It is a time for celebration and preparation leading up to the wedding. A3: The purpose of the Sanding or Bridal Shower stage is for the bride’s family to host a gathering for the bride, her female family members, friends, and colleagues. It may include wedding games, advice to the couple, and gifts of money from well-wishers.

The Bersanding or Sitting-in-State Ceremony is the fourth stage of a Malay wedding. The bride and groom are seated on elevated chairs, called thrones, and surrounded by family, friends, and strangers. This ceremony formally introduces the couple as husband and wife to their community. Family members offer wisdom, and guests shower the couple with monogrammed towels as tokens of love and blessings.

The Akad Nikah or Solemnization Ceremony is one of the most important ceremonies in a Malay wedding. It is where the bride and groom officially declare themselves as husband and wife in the presence of family and friends. Prayers are recited, and vows from the Quran are spoken to uphold their commitment. It marks the couple’s legal union and is a significant moment in the wedding celebration.


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UPDATED 3:34 PM, Mon, 22 May 23
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